Why should I live anymore?

I'm 16 now. I've been with the love of my life since we were both as little as ten. He broke up with me when we were 14 and got back together with me the next year. I dated two people in very short relationships in that year. When we got back together, we were crazily in love with each other, and that love is real and we both wanted it for a lifetime. He broke up with me later saying he wanted to concentrate on his schooling. He began to ignore me and then only talked to me whenever he needed to get physical and I felt used and hurt. I grew very depressed that he was treating me really badly, and I accepted to go out with a new person, who had been asking me for about 7 months and who was really nice to me. I felt like I needed to be taken care of, so I said yes after so many months. I had confided in a friend, things that had happened between me and my first love, and he told our whole school. He hated me for it, although I didn't intend it to be known to everyone, I just confided in someone I thought I could trust because I badly needed help - I was so very hurt from the way he had treated me. He said I'd broken my promises and destroyed his happiness for my selfish reasons. With this new guy, I felt lost and confused. I thought that things were over forever between me and my first love, and I felt like I needed a new life, one where I wouldn't always be hurting for him. I ended up sleeping with my new boyfriend thrice, because it made me feel like I was close to someone who cared - I guess I subconsciously was trying to recreate the intense, pure love my first love and I had together. I broke up with the new guy when I realised I had never stopped loving my ex. I confessed to him a month later that I had lost my virginity to that new guy and since then we've been having so many problems. He's acting like I cheated on him or something, he calls me a whore almost every day, and says such rude and mean things, and they hurt me so badly. Some days he's nice to me and he seems to be forgetting about that and then again he begins to hurt me and kill me with his words. I don't have the strength to fight against the hurt anymore. I haven't seen happiness in over a year now and I just want it all to end. I'm losing all sense of self, I don't even know who I am anymore. I just know that I love him, and I know I've made some big mistakes, but I also know that I cannot possibly take more suffering than already. This is to be my last attempt to save my life. I hope that in death we may be reunited, untarnished by any negativity.